How to Identify & Prevent Burnout?

TOPICS IN THIS EPISODE

• Why does burnout occur and how does it affect us?
• Does burnout affect women differently from men?

HELPFUL  LINKS

• About the Host  - Ela Senghera 
• Speak to Me - Book Here
• Get Free Brochure  - Be True You in Your Relationship
• Audiobook - Finding Love
• Parenting Book (2nd Edition) - Teach Your Kids to Build a Positive Self-Image
• About the Guest  - Kasia Richter

Transcript

Ela: Hi Kasia, How are you doing today? Welcome to my show. 

Kasia: Hi, Ella. I'm very good. Thank you. And thank you so much for inviting me. I'm very happy to be here. 

Ela: Likewise, I'm really happy that you could make it. So to start with, could you tell us who you are a little bit more and, and what is it that you do professionally with regard to psychology and, and working with entrepreneurs?

Kasia: Sure. I'm based in London and my background is in psychology and recruitment. I've been working for many years for big international companies, primarily based in the Middle East in the aviation sector. And then I moved into self-employment and I've been focusing on activities that help create a better quality of life.

The topic that I've been recently more interested in is the prevention of depression. And, Therefore, I became very much interested in burnout, prevention and recovery as it has been my personal experience. And I've successfully recovered, I've remodelled my life, and today I'm helping my clients prevent, hopefully, prevent if, if it's possible.

Advice to overcome burnout so that they can just have a happier and healthier life. 

Ela: So I understand this is your per its personal experience and your own journey that inspired you to start this business, this practice. 

Kasia: Partially, yes. The other part is I've been obviously looking for the area of the market that would be profitable.

So I wanted obviously to combine the benefits of creating a successful business. Therefore I had to ensure there is enough demand on the market. And when I started digging and doing my market research, I learned that yes, mental health is the right direction and the niche is burnout.

Ela: Sounds great. Okay, so most of us have heard about burnout before. But to some of us, burnout is still a little bit of a new term. Can you tell me, can you share your definition of burnout? 

Kasia: Certainly like you've said, a lot of people are confused because there's a lot of being of, of, of this media path about burnout, about stress, about everything.

And a lot of people think that burnout and stress are the same. Basically, the difference would be burnout, the result of electronic. Burnout happens when we are reaching the level of physical and emotional energy depletion when we just reach the stage when holidays don't help, you know, in regaining our energy.

When taking a break or having a nice weekend just doesn't. It is much deeper and that's how we know we're dealing with something more serious than regular stress. 

Ela: Yeah. It's such a common problem these days, isn't it? I think when I think about burnout the first thing that springs to mind is, I feel like, Oh, I definitely don't have that.

So when I hear the word burnout, to me that's such a severe, serious word that immediately I try to distance myself from it instead of perhaps actually considering it. How I'm really feeling. Do you get me? I think many people possibly are doing the same thing because the word burnout is like, ooh, who's burned out?

But actually, it is, like you're saying, it's long term. It's an effect of long-term stress and this lack of balance in our life that so many of us experience on daily basis. And I almost want to say, One way. I mean, we will get to the prevention bit in a second, but one way that immediately springs to mind too, too, to my mind of how to prevent it is just simply to create a better balance in your weekly schedule.

It seems so self-explanatory, right? But I think we are all very, very guilty of working super hard all the time, not taking any breaks, not giving ourselves enough time to rest, and not sleeping enough. And suddenly we just feel, we think it's being tired. I'm always tired, right? But actually, it could be burnout.

This is why we're talking about this today because it's a very common problem, especially among professionally active people and busy entrepreneurs that need to combine their work life with home life. So when does burnout usually a cure? Can you tell us a bit more about it? 

Kasia: The simple answer is when we don't love ourselves enough it is so simple.

Simple. And so difficult at the same time, because like you've said we are living in business adoring culture. Mm-hmm. People especially. Certain personality types. Those who are ambitious are achievers, they are particularly prone to burnout because they just identify themselves with the career achievements in their work.

Therefore they, it's, it's very hard for them to, to set the boundaries, to, to make the room for balance that you've mentioned. So, it'll be more difficult for this type of people and the culture we're living in at the moment. In an environment where the media are constantly feeding us with negative information, infusing us with fear.

A lot of people that didn't develop mental toughness It's very difficult for them to set the balance, to look after themselves because they're constantly worried. They're driven by fear. Mm-hmm. . And therefore they're like, No, no, I cannot relax. I cannot afford to go for a massage. I cannot afford to stop working.

Because, you know, their common economy is in regression, the inflation is on, you know, that the war is on and, you know, so, It's it really requires a lot conscious effort to, to really reflect and say like, my health is important without a good. Mental health, I cannot be productive. I cannot have good financial results.

So sadly that awareness comes when it's late. When people experience sometimes it is depression, sometimes a physical condition and they end up in the hospital and they're physically unable to work. Then they start to think. Right. Maybe I've been running too fast. Maybe, you know, I, I never arrested.

That, and then they, they maybe remodel their lives. But in the majority of cases, this awareness doesn't come just by itself. 

Ela: Mm-hmm. And does burnout affect women and men differently? And did the, did you observe in your work that there may be slightly different symptoms or, any patterns that you've observed among men and women?

Kasia: Yes. There is a difference actually and basically, it's women who do have a better awareness. They, they, they know like, you know, Okay, I am tired. I. I am stressed and what women do better than men. They admit it, therefore, they create room for help for getting help and they reach out for help much more often than men.

Experience burnout, but they don't talk about it. They internalize it, they keep on working because the gender role is that, okay, I am the breadwinner. I need to provide for the family. This is my role. I, I have to do it, and there's no option that, you know I can fail. Which leads to A lot of cynicism.

So the gender roles are one thing and the other is the parents. So the distress coming from parenting men experience it much more than women. And the reason for it is that men are not, really prepared for the role of parenthood. They, I don't know, they don't have training or, you know.

Ela: They didn't have, they didn't have nine months to prepare for it. Like we did, right? Our bodies changed, our hormones changed, and our mindsets changed everything. The priorities are shifting. Whereas for men, it seems like this is the continuation of the old role, except it's not.

Kasia:  Right. Exactly.

Exactly. So, therefore, parents, the fathers may be more vulnerable to the stress coming from running. And basically being the father. So this is something to be just, you know, mindful about. Because like I've said, men would not really open up and talk about it. They will become more cynical.

They will treat people in a depersonalized way. They will have short tempers. They will have fewer patients like, like with, with their children or, you know, up work. So that maybe recognizes that you know a man is, is going through burnout. Mm. 

Ela: Cool. I understand. So and so it affects us all slightly differently.

Do you feel, I mean, I suppose it's a natural answer to the question is yes, but imagine a scenario where both men and a woman in a relationship are going through burnout at the same time. Mm-hmm. how difficult that must be. I think it is an extreme scenario, but I bet it's quite common. Except for people not actually realizing it.

So it might be that it'll manifest itself as a one-person being snappy, the other per person. As you said, having no patience and you have this cumulation of this exhaustion and frustration. Physical exhaustion, and mental exhaustion, and they need to relax. And if, if, if we are both quite driven in a relationship, if two people are very ambitious and, and overachievers or high achievers That is probably likely to occur.

Is there, is there anything we can do in the scenario of a relationship now that we can what can we do if we notice our partner or ourselves might be going through burnout? What are the first three steps you would recommend? 

Kasia: Well, first of all, just stop to stop and reevaluate the situation.

Like, you know, what is happening. If, if we quarrel, if we fight, if we have a lack of patience, just stop and reflect and start wondering like, you know, why is this happening? I'm losing patience. I'm not performing, at work, in the same way, I used to. I'm treating. Or my patients or my students you know, in a very different way than I used to.

Do you know? Yeah. This is an indication that something has changed, something is happening, and it's all about us. So we have to take responsibility about our own of our own health and just evaluate what is happening and the very important step is we realized like, okay, my behaviour is different.

I don't like it, you know, I wanna do something about it, is to get help. Yeah. Because it'll create much faster results when we work with a specialist mental health specialist somebody who is trained to help even I mean, obviously. Going through burnout, recovery process or maybe therapy?

It's I would, I would advise it as the best course of action. Even just going and seeing ideally a psychologist, psychotherapist Sometimes, you know, and being listened to already creates a lot of change because we just have to vent out. And very often at work, we cannot, we go back home and at home we cannot, because at home we are also falling into, you know, the next role.

Like, I am a man. I, I'm the breadwinner. I cannot admit that you know, I'm struggling. I'm the, I have to set a great example, right? So if we have a good support network and the support network can look like having good friends, but you know, then this is, you know, a little bit not so straightforward, right?

Because ideally, a good friend is somebody who already has very good awareness and has our health in mind. Our. Not somebody who will be criticizing us, not somebody who will be saying, Oh, let's go out and just drink and forget about it. Right? Because yes, the alcohol will help for five minutes, for one evening, but the problem will stay.

So the idea is to really be listened to with full attention without being judged and by somebody who maybe has experience dealing with a similar situation. This is a very good resource as a friend or as a family member, right? If we don't have such a sort of resource. And I would really recommend finding a specialist because that will create the fastest result and impact our, life in the best way.

Ela: Thank you for that answer. I think I, I like what you said. I think everything starts with awareness. And where I see the difference between men and women is, like you said, women are perhaps a little bit more self-aware and are more willing to admit to themself and to others openly that they struggle.

It's, they are choosing, they are easier able to be vulnerable, right? Express that vulnerability and the fact that they don't have everything together, that they need help, they're struggling. Whereas, like you said, with men, unfortunately, there is the social stigma related to being a man, being strong not showing your weakness.

Because that can be perceived in a really bad light. And therefore, I mean, this is a simplified version, but many men simply choose not to seek help. And it might not even be the fact that they're not aware that they're struggling, but they are all not able to admit openly that they are struggling.

Stress, or perhaps they think that who they have become as a result of stress. It's just a normal way of living. Now that you are married and you have children, most people argue, most people, most marriages are snappy with one another. So what's the big deal with us? We do the same. Like that's just the way we are now.

Right. What would you say, just the last question, what would you say? A woman in a relationship like that if, she's got a partner who is going through burnout, what should be the number one suggestion she should give or he should give to her, partner? So I understand that friends and the therapist is, are a resource, but if you love someone, you generally care about them.

Would you say that they should encourage them to seek help outside the relationship? Perhaps? 

Kasia: It depends. If the partners have resources to help each other mm-hmm. to help that that will. Jail can genuinely take the other person from burnout. Yeah. They don't need external resources.

Sometimes maybe we need to audit and see like, you know, what we can do for each other because very often we underestimate each other. So basically having a nice open conversation saying, I've noticed that you've been snappy recently you've been talking negatively about your work. Do you want to talk about it?

Is there something that is bothering you? I am here, to listen if you need to, you know, take off the pressure if you need advice, you know this is the safe space. This is a safe environment. You know you can open up. So just create this space within your home. Mm-hmm. of making your partner realize that, you know, we have his or her back.

Ela: We are here to help, right? Not judge.

Kasia: Absolutely. Especially in, in certain cultures and Polish culture is one of them. We are very inclined to complain and judge. And this is very toxic and we have to be aware of that, that this doesn't help. We should be really supporting each other and praising for what is being done well.

So even if the person is struggling to open up you know, just say like, It's so good that you are just taking this first step of like, you know, opening up of like, you know, being willing to, to just do something about it. You know, just yeah. So take small things and partner because we all have our challenges and when we support each other it's much easier to face.

Ela: Right. Fantastic. Well, where can our viewers and listeners find you if they need more information on burnout, prevention or simply seeking therapy, where is the best place to reach out to you? 

Kasia: Wellbeing strategist.com. This is my website, so you can find the links to my social media channels there.

And also I would like to invite all your lovely listeners to stay tuned as I am just completing my book Burnout Recovery Guide for Female Entrepreneurs which should be available on Amazon from the beginning of the new year. 

Ela: Great. Fantastic. Thank you so much, Kasia.