Why Marriage is Good for You?

TOPICS IN THIS EPISODE

• What are the usual misconceptions about marriage?
• What are the 5 biggest reasons marriage is good for us?

HELPFUL  LINKS

• About the Host  - Ela Senghera 
• Speak to Me - Book Here
• Get Free Brochure  - Be True You in Your Relationship
• Audiobook - Finding Love
• Parenting Book (2nd Edition) - Teach Your Kids to Build a Positive Self-Image

Transcript

Today we are talking about marriage, and why being married is good for us. And so before we get married, many of us often wonder, how can a simple piece of paper make any difference yet, or more so introduce really positive and powerful changes to our life long term? Well, something about marriage as a social institution, as a shared aspiration and a public vow has the power to change our lives. So we will explore this topic in more detail today. I think it's fair to say that married household households have twice the talent twice the time and twice the labour pool of single people. And because marriage is a powerful partnership, for a whole life that is backed by the family community, are often our religious values.

Marriage can do what economic partnerships don't, which is to give us a greater bigger sense of meaning and purpose in our life. And marriage, people are both responsible for themselves, as well as responsible for another human being. And often they create family units together, leading to more responsible, fruitful and purposeful, satisfying lives. And as many of us know, marriage, of course, protects the children. But there is also another important to make a case for marriage. And that is equally significant. Which is something we perhaps don't often think about. And that is that marriage is a very powerful creator of human and social capital for both adults and children. And it's about as important as education when it comes to promoting the health, wealth and wellbeing of adults and of communities. And many people, as I said, don't really think about it that way. But also I think it's also important to highlight that we live in times, where we overestimate the likelihood that divorce will lead to positive changes in our lives and greater happiness. And that is very often very far from the truth. So one thing is for sure, it's not good for a man or not good for a woman to be alone for a long period of time, and in virtually every way possible.

Social scientists today can measure and do measure that often married people do much better than unmarried people or divorced people. They live longer. They live healthier and happier and more affluent lives. So this is what we're talking about this today to highlight this important topic. So how can this make such a big difference? Well, let's move forward to discussing the five top reasons why marriage is good for us.

Reason number one, it will make you happy. So for more, for most people, the joys of single life and of divorce are overrated. overall 40% of married people compared with only about a quarter of singles, all those who are cohabitating or saying that they're very happy with life in general. So we've got 40% of married people saying they're very happy, and only a quarter of singles saying that they're very happy and very people are also only about half as likely as singles to say that they are unhappy with their lives. So, we might wonder, you know, how happy are divorced people. And, and this might be a bold statement, but I'm just gonna throw it out there anyway, if people divorce in order to be happy, as we are often told, the majority of people should just demand their money back. So only about 18% of divorced adults say they're very happy, and divorced adults are twice as likely as married people to say that they are not too happy with life in general. And only a minority of divorcing adults go on to make marriages that are happier than the ones they've left. And this is not just in the US or UK. It's a global phenomenon. And there was one recent study by Steven stack, and Jay Ross, of 17 developed nations that found that married people have a significantly higher level of happiness than persons who are not married, even after including things like gender, age, education, children, financial satisfaction, and health reasons. 

Number two, marriage is good for your mental health. Married men and women are less depressed, less anxious, and have less psychological distress than single, divorced or widowed people. By contrast, getting divorced lowers men's and women's mental health, increasing depression, hostility, and low confidence, lowering our self-esteem and a sense of personal satisfaction and life purpose. And this is not just a statistic, you could call it an illusion. And research researchers have tracked this topic for a number of years and they have tracked individuals, as they move toward marriage find that it is not just that happy, healthy people marry. Instead, getting married gives individuals a powerful mental health boost. And Nadine marks and James Lambert looked at changes in the psychological health of a large sample of Americans in the late 80s and early 90s. They measured psychological wellbeing and then watched what happened to individuals over the next years, as they married remain single or divorced. And they've noticed that when people married, their mental health improved consistently and substantially when people divorced, they suffered substantial deterioration in mental and emotional wellbeing, including increases in depression, and declines in happiness. And those who divorced over this period also reported a lower sense of personal mastery, less positive relationships with others, less feeling of a sense of purpose and life satisfaction, and lower levels of self-acceptance.

Reason number three is why being married is good for you. It's better for your physical health, and merit, people live longer and healthier lives. That is a fact. The power of marriage is particularly evident in late middle age. And when the lady called Linda weighed, analyzed mortality.

In a very large, nationally representative sample, she found that large marriage gap in longevity. So 9 out of 10 married guys who are alive at 48 will make it to 65 compared with just six in 10, comparable single guys, including things into consideration like race, education and income. For women. The protective benefits of marriage were and are also powerful, but they were not as large. So nine out of 10 wives who were alive at the age of 48 will become senior citizens compared with just 8 out of 10 divorced and single women and statistician called Bernard Cohen compiled a catalogue of relative mortality risks, and it places being unmarried as one of the greatest risks that people voluntarily subjected themselves to. having heart disease, for example, reduces a man's life expectancy by just under six years, while being unmarried, chops almost 10 years of a man's life. Having a spouse lowers a cancer patient's risk of dying from the disease as much as being in the age category of 10 years younger. I think this is important information here. So scientists who have studied the immune functioning of our bodies in the lab laboratory found that happily married couples have better functioning immune systems, and divorced people, even years after the divorce show much lower levels of the immune systems.

Reason number four, your kids will be healthier and happier. So we often debate the institution of marriage. And when we do our attention, attention is often focused on the potential harm to the children of the divorced couple. And obviously, that is for good reason. Because there's tons of research that tells us that children read outside of intact marriages are much more likely than other kids to slip into poverty, become victims of child abuse and fail at school. use illegal drugs launch into premature sexual activity, commit suicide, divorce, or experience the signs of mental illness. On average, children who read outside marriage are less successful in their careers. And many of us know that but I think it's important to highlight that children lead healthier, longer lives if parents do get married and stay married. And one long-term study that followed a sample of highly advantaged children up through their 70s and a parent's divorce knocked four years of the adult child's life expectancy. 40-year-olds from divorced homes were three times more likely to die from all causes than 40 years old, whose parents stayed married. This is huge. So 40 years old, from divorced homes were three times more likely to die from all different causes. So divorce weakens, also the bond between parents and children, as you would imagine would adult children of divorce describe their relationship with the mother and father as less positive.

And the reason number five, you will earn more money. So men often today's busy men often think that marriage has a think of it as a consumption item. So it's a financial burden to provide for the family. But a broad and deep body of scientific literature suggests that for men, especially marriage is a productive institution, as important as education in boosting men's earnings. In fact, getting a wife may increase a male salary by about as much as college education and married men make by some estimates as much as 40% more money than comparable single guys, a marriage people not only make more money, they manage money better, and they build more wealth together, that either would alone and at identical income levels. For example, married people are less likely to report economic hardship or trouble paying bills. The longer you stay married, the more assets you build together. And couples who stay married often see their assets increase twice as fast as those who remain divorced over a five-year period. And at the end of this topic, I just want to mention that many of us wonder what proportion of unhappily married couples who stick together say that they are miserable. And the latest data shows that within five years just 12% of very happily married couples - those who stick together - are still unhappy. So only 12% of us who are originally very unhappy in our marriages are still unhappy after five years, whereas 70% of the unhappiest couples now describe their marriage as very happy or quite happy.

So I think that is also significant information here. And just as good marriages go bad, bad marriages go good, and they have a better chance of doing so in a society that recognizes the value of marriage, than one that signs the statistically dubious joys of divorce.