Clear Your Head & Gain Clarity

TOPICS IN THIS EPISODE

• What is Head Trash and How Does it Affect Us?
• How to Clear Your Head and Gain Clarity ?

HELPFUL  LINKS

• About the Host  - Ela Senghera 
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Transcript

Ep 16

Ela: Hi Alexa, welcome to the show. 

Alexia: Thank you so much for having me 

Ela: Nice to have you. So you are a founder, author, and a mom. You are a host of two podcast. Fear Free childbirth and Head Trash Show. You are also a founder of the Head Trash Clearance Method, um, dedicated to clearing, uh, our minds of negative emotions and creating more space.

You currently live in France. Um, can you tell me a little bit more about you? It sounds all very, very interesting what you do. 

Alexia: Um, well, I first, uh, got into the birth stuff, which is because of my own fears around having, uh, being pregnant and giving birth, which I didn't realize. I had a condition called Tokophobia, which is extreme fear of pregnancy and birth. And that forced me to really confront my fears. And to get rid of them. And it was through that that I developed the head trash clearance method, which I really needed a way to clear my own fears on my own. Cause in my head I had so many fears and I had so much Head Trash that there was no way I could afford the therapy bill.

If I sought out the help of a professional. I thought I'd be there years to try and sort it out. So that's where the Head Trash Method was born. Really during my. See in carrying my fears. And I also didn't realize at the time that a lot of women got pregnancy fears. And when I just started to share a little bit more about my own journey, a load of women started getting in touch with that I'd never heard of.

They were emailing me when I was breastfeeding my newborn, saying, How on earth did you get rid of your fears? I'm terrified too. I need to know your secret. Mm-hmm. So that. That's what got me to write my book. And then when the book was ready, I decided to start sharing elements of the ideas and the principles within it on a podcast.

And the podcast is The Fear Free Childbirth podcast. Yes. 

Ela: What is the book called? 

Alexia: The book, That book is called Fearless Birthing. And Clear Your Fears for Positive Birth. And then a lot of the people that have been following my work as, as a Head Trash Coach and a business coach at the time, were like, Well, We're not pregnant. We wanna know how to clear off ears too, but you know, does it work on non pregnancy stuff? And I was like, Yeah, of course. I've been using that on loads of my other stuff. So that's why I needed to bring out, uh, you know, to share the method that I developed in a book that wasn't focused on pregnancy, and that's what the book Clear Head Trash is all about, which is really helping people to use the head trash clearance method on themselves.

It's a DIY clearance method, which enables you to get rid of your fears. Um, and that's for the non, the non mothers, the non aspiring mothers, the non-pregnant folk that Ronald do that maybe around their business or in their personal lives. So, um, and so that's why, that's where the podcasts are from. So the Fear Free Childbirth Podcast, which I don't do anymore, but it's all there.

There's over 70 episodes to listen to with lots of. Specifically around helping women prepare for the birth, the motherhood journey. And then the head trash show is really a lot more general where I tackle business issues, personal life issues, anxiety, all those kind of things, and helping people to really get rid of their head trash.

Ela: Amazing. So sounds like you were inspired by your own journey, your own experience, which is often the case. With really successful businesses especially. Um, so can you tell me a little bit more about this head trash clearance method? And how it's used. 

Alexia: So it's inspired by a number of things I've trained in previously.

And, but it is, uh, and, and what I really wanted to do was make something DIY that I could use on myself. Um, and so previously I'd been trained in methods and modalities that enabled me to work as a therapist or a practitioner, or however else you wanna call that. I've always worked as a coach, uh, personally. So I've never really described myself as a therapist or a therapeutic coach, maybe, you know, a user very focused on a goal and an outcome, but maybe using some therapeutic techniques to achieve that goal or outcome. And so for me, I really want people to be empowered to. Work on their own stuff.

And not always feel like they have to go and see somebody else to do that. Because for many people, the stresses, the daily stresses and the fears and the anxieties that they struggle with, they can deal with those themselves, but they just don't know how, or they don't have the tools that enable them to do that.

So if we just provide them with the tool that. Easy to use. Mm-hmm. they can use whenever they need to. Then that means they're more in charge of their own mental health and can kind of maintain it themselves without letting it get outta control. So that's what the head trash clearance method is. It's a simple method.

It's five steps. It's very straightforward. You can clear fears in anything from three minutes up to 25 minutes. I went, I cleared my fear of pain while I was in labor in between contractions. So that's, you know, that's less than three minutes is apparently the timing of a contraction at that point in birth.

So, but a lot of my clients, you know, they're, it means that people can clear their stuff themselves, which means that you can get rid of your depression, you can get rid of your phobias without having to. The support of somebody else. Of course there's always gonna be the needs to, to get support from other people, but not everybody wants that.

Some people just wanna be shown what to do. Yes. And they wanna be able to crack on and do it. And that's what the head trash method is all about, is the enable. It's for those that really just wanna sort, you know, be in charge of their own mental health. 

Ela: Okay. And is this method available to anybody who can use it somewhere on your website or is this a, I assume it's a paid service.

Alexia: So if they just buy the book, you get it in, in both the books and the fearless birthing book, it's described in the fearless birthing book and in the clear head trash book. So, um, I did used to give it away as a PDF on the website, but I've got so many questions from people. It's a very simple method. But people like to overcomplicate.

 And they think, well, it can't be that easily. It's got to be more to it. And so to explain, To explain it more and to help people to understand why it is so simple. The book is there to kind of really put it into context and give lots of examples, Makes sense, and happen to walk through things. Mm-hmm.

Um, so yeah, the book, it's in the, it's in the book race and I talk a lot about it on podcast as on the Head Trust Show. 

Ela: So you are completely aware about the fact we all been through pandemic. Um, it's, I think, fair to say that most of us have had a very difficult time for different reason. During Coronavirus, uh, many people have lost their loved ones.

Um, parents have been homeschooling here in the UK and, and many other countries, um, which has actually contributed to a mental health crisis to become even more severe. Um, how was it for you and your clients during this time? Did you see any patterns in your client's behavior or their struggle? 

Alexia: I, during the pandemic, I was one of those people that suddenly found myself homeschooling and not really having a lot of time for my business because I suddenly had, and we, that was when we first decided to leave the UK move to France.

So I was in a, I didn't have my own dedicated office space and suddenly the kids were home for six months. And deciding time to get any work done was really a struggle for me. Um, but the clients that I were, that I was working at the time were mainly business. And so they were not presenting with.

Uh, challenges specifically around the coronavirus that I know that many people were, but they were really facing, pivoting, situa, like a situation where they might need to pivot their business or optimize what was going on or make up for the fact that they were losing business. So it was very, I was very focused on the business angle, but I was fortunate that some of the business I was working with were really using that of an opportunity to really start switching and changing what they were doing and they ended up doing very, For their business out of the coronavirus. So, but I know that what, what I suffered with personally at that time, and I think it, it kind of moving to France and found myself in a village in the middle of nowhere, helped prepare me somewhat for the, for the Coronavirus pandemic because when I left the UK I found myself in a village where I didn't know anybody.

I felt entirely isolated. I felt completely cut off. I didn't know anyone and I was, felt like I was stuck at home. So I worked on a lot of my fears around that, around isolation, around loneliness, around feeling. Tough. And then when, so when the pandemic came, I'd already kind of confronted a lot of that already and worked on that in myself.

So when I was faced with it on a very different level, cause I actually wasn't allowed to leave to go more than two kilometers from the house in France, we weren't allowed to go more than two kilometers from the house for more than 20 minutes. Um, so there were very, we had a perfu on at certain times as well.

So there was some very real restrictions in those, in that sense. But at that point, I'd already worked on my conflicts and my fears around all of that. So when the coronavirus arrived, I think I was able to deal with it a lot better than I had, than I would've, and had I not already worked on that step three or four months prior to that. 

Ela: Yes. Yes. I can see that. How, how that happens. Yes. And based on your observation, what is the most common problem or issue that people come to you? Your clients come to you when they want to get rid of their, uh, head, Uh, head trash. Clear your head gain that clarity. 

Alexia: Um, I get two groups of peoples, those that are kind of facing.

One lady came to me, she said, I just want the noise in my head to stop. I just want the voices to stop. And she wasn't schizophrenic or anything, she was just, the mind chatter was just so extreme that she couldn't put her head on the pillow at night and, and go to sleep without this constant, you know, like take playing again of conversations and stresses of doubts and all of that.

And she just wanted it to stop. Um, So that is something I get a lot where people, and you know, that's kind of anxiety, that's really leading to the point where they're not be able to sleep properly. They can't think clearly about what they want to do, how they resolve, maybe challenges in their life.

Cause they just can't have that clarity, that peace of mind, that stillness to enable them to make a decision that they trust that isn't filled with fear. That they can, that they know is gonna be a good decision for them. So I think when you are full of fear and anxiety, you don't trust your own decision making, you're worried that you're making a decision out of fear or anxiety, and are just doing it to avoid situations rather than really making a decision that's gonna lead you to happiness.

So I get a lot of people wanting to make a decisions felt also in the birth. Well, that they're not wor, they're not sure whether they wanna be parents yet they're terrified of pregnancy. They dunno if it's the right decision with them. Again, because of the fears and the anxieties. Making the decision like, am I gonna have a baby?

Is a big decision to make and they wanna be able to make that kind of decision and trust it. Mm-hmm. because it's the right decision for them. You know, Everybody's gotta find the right decisions them so, So having, how can people declare their mind so they can. Find that stillness within is, is something that a lot of people come to me for.

Um, but then also in the business context where people are struggling with, they're not achieving the goals or the revenue targets or the, that they, they keep wanting to pursue and achieve a certain outcome in their work life or their business life. Mm-hmm. and they just keep missing the. Target. They just can't quite get there and they suspect self sabotage.

They suspect, they, they dunno why they're their own worst enemy. They dunno why they keep missing it. And, and it feels a bit like there are some invisible forces at play. Yeah. Some internal forces that are, that are kind of ruining their child. Yeah. And they just wanna sort that out. Mm-hmm. . And that ends up being a lot of, you know, value conflict, self-sabotage, that, that, that it's all happening at a subconscious level.

That's very impossible to, to see if you're not well trained in this. Mm-hmm. . So yeah, this balance of just clearing the noise, just creating mental space, mental clarity, but also addressing all of those self-sabotaging patterns that might lead you to not be able to achieve the goals that you have in your life, whether that's in your personal life or in your business life. Those are the kind of the areas that people come to. 

Ela: Okay, great. Another question I have is, what type of mindset helps to get good results from your method? 

Alexia: An openness and, um, trust it to work. Some people are like, Well, how do I know it's gonna work? What's the science, da, da da? They, they, they're full of these kind of, um, and they're like, Well, what if I do it wrong?

What if it doesn't work? What if, you know, they're kind of, they hesitate. And it is really simple. It's a case of trust that it works because it does, because I've not seen it not work on people. And I've been working with people now for over 10 years with this method and those that put the time in and do the work, see the results, those that don't, I have some people that like, they just don't get round to doing anything.

So it's like going to the, It's like thinking, well, if I'm gonna lose weight, I wanna go to the gym and sign up. Well, I've signed up to the gym, but I've never actually stepped in the gym and, and put my trainers on. If you don't put your trainers on and go to the gym, you're not gonna start getting anywhere.

So you do need to kind of start and do the work, but once you do the work, the changes that happen remarkably quickly. Um, and so it's about sticking with it. It's a practice. It's not something where you go, Well, I, I did it. Again, with the gym, you wouldn't go, Oh, I, I did 20 minutes rowing three weeks ago.

What you mean? I, you wouldn't expect to be fit after 20 minutes rowing three weeks ago. You understand that you need to maybe row three times a week at least with some other stuff. Yeah. To start seeing results. And you need to do that for more than just one week. So that's why I only worked for a minimum of three months because I know.

Three months, the results, they'll, they'll be transforming in that time. But if they just want one session, we're not gonna, you know, if, like a PT personal trainer wouldn't work with you for one session because they know that they're not gonna, he be able to help you move the needle in one session, it's, it's a more of a long term, at least a month, three months ideal is where you start seeing the, the real results.

Ela: And do your clients ever share, Alex? What works for them? What they really, anything they're really amazed with, or what specifically works for them the best in that method? What do they realize or what do they. About themselves, perhaps? 

Alexia: Well, I guess it's a very simple method that you can complete in 20 minutes for one fear or one conflict, for example.

So within 20 minutes you see whether you, you can see whether it's worked, um, but when you have more complex conditions like anxiety for example, or depression or photophobia, the fear of parenting birth, that's very, there's lots of things that may. Phobia. So there's lots of, you might need to clear 20 things to really unravel that anxiety.

You might need to clear 40 things. It's really about unpacking it effectively and identifying all the contributing things that are bleeding to the an making the anxiety a thing. Um, but if you had say, let's say a fear of injections, which is a very thing that, you know, a lot of people may have experienced that and were confronted with it as part of the pandemic.

You know, you can clear or feel like that very quickly. I cleared my fear of needles. Five minutes while I was waiting in hospital during my first pregnancy, and I'd suffered for that for years and I would faint at the side for needle. So when you're seeing results, that obvious, you know, like suddenly I'm having an injection and I'm not noticing, I didn't even know it happened.

Whereas before I'd be on the floor passed out at that point. When you're seeing results happening, so sort of clearly you, you get that this has worked for you. Yeah. So, um, when people get the results they want, they, they just know and they carry on using it. So then the people like clients I've worked with years ago are still using it and telling me how they're continuing to get results by applying it in their lives.

Ela: Okay. One of the last questions now. Is there anything we can do to limit that head trash from reoccuring? 

Alexia: Um, when. For me, the best way to think about head trash is like the, the trash you have at home. So if you never, ever emptied your bins at home, your home would be overwhelmed with rubbish. Mm-hmm. . So, you know, what can you best do to prevent your home from being filled up with rabbit?

Let's say you have a big clear out. The best way to stop refilling your bins is to stop triggering the head trash. So oftentimes the, the emotions that come in, those negative emotions come in, like fear and anxiety. There are things that trigger that fear. So the best way to stop the fear coming back is to eliminate all the triggers of your fear.

So all think about all those things that stress you out in your life or all the things that you are terrified. Work on those things, using the method to get rid of the triggers, and then you're no longer triggering the fear or triggering the anxiety. So you are, you're not filling. The, the BIM again, if that makes sense. But you do need to have a clear out at some point, especially those that never have never dealt with any kind of. They've never looked at their mindset, never looked at their emotions, never looked at that kind of work before. There's, oh, there's other techniques that can help you do this kind of work.

But if you've never done that, then you've probably got a house the equivalent of, you know, a house full of rubbish. And that's why it can feel so overwhelming, especially when people reach their midlife where they're like, Oh my God, I dunno what I'm doing when I'm in the right career. I, Cause they literally can't see anything because of all the head trap.

So you gotta have a, you gotta start by having a really good, clear out and then, Refilling up again. It's really about being diligent, about going, Well, why have I been triggered today? What? Why have I been made fit? What is it that's brought my fear out today? Why have I been, Why am I stressing out? It stressed me out.

Okay, look at the reason that I'm stressing out. Let's work on that, and then the next time it happens, it won't stress you out. You'll just be able to deal with it in a much more calm manner. , and before you know it, you're just much calmer because you're not being triggered left, right, and center by all these things that stress you out, and suddenly you probably sleep less because you don't need as much sleep because balancing all that stuff in your head is exhausting. Um, your skin will improve, your health will improve because your, when your body is suffering, it's. Probably down to all the emotional disease, disease that's happening internally that's showing up physically for you. So when you do put the effort in to clear a lot of this emotional disease, often your health improves drastically and people start noticing vast improvements.

So, So yeah. So for me it starts with a big clear out, and then identifying those things that. Continuing to trigger you so you can eliminate those

Ela: So self-awareness and self-observation. Right?

Alexia: We're back to that again. Yeah. 

Ela: Cultivating that self-awareness and self-observation instead of dismissing it and ignoring it.

Alexia: Yeah. Yeah. 

Ela: Okay, fabulous. And um, finally, if any of our listeners want to see you or find you or find more about you, um, where can they do that? 

Alexia: So the Head Trash shows on all the usual places. Spotify, Apple Podcast. On YouTube, but also clearyourheadtrash. com If they wanna find out more about the head trash method and using it in their lives.

And the membership that I have that helps people to clear that themselves. And then fearfreechildbirths.com for the birth and pregnancy stuff. Of course, the podcast, Fear Free Childbirth podcast as well. And then the book Clear Your Head Trash, which is. On Amazon and all the other places that aren't. You can get online and, and bookshops, and then fearless birthing for those that want to prepare for birth and motherhood.

Ela: Excellent. Okay, Well all the links to those resources will be included in the show notes for those of you who are interested. Alexia, thank you so much for your time today. It was really interesting to talk to you, find out more about you and your products. I wish you all the best thank you very much.