Take Responsibility For Your Future!

TOPICS IN THIS EPISODE

• How is responsibility connected to our self esteem & self worth?
• How to build inner self-worth ?

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Transcript

So , let’s talk about your future and what stops you having the future you really want? So what is very closely linked to this topic is taking responsibility for your actions. We will discuss self-discipline and what role self-discipline plays in creating your dream life. 

So let's start with talking about responsibility. 

Taking responsibility for changing your life is a big one. It can sound a little intimidating but it doesn't have to be. But it's important to point out that only people who have a high level of self-esteem. This is because in order to take responsibility for your life - you need to trust yourself first …And we trust ourselves generally more - when we know our self-worth. So that's when we know we can succeed in something, we will manage something - no matter what life throws at us.

And when we don't trust ourselves we struggle to take responsibility for our actions and our lives. People with a low self-worth often take responsibility for the lives of others - for example they get involved in helping others by offering their time and advice, even when this is not needed.  They do this to distract them self and take away the focus from changing their own life from improving their own life. People get involved in the lives of others because they can't get something they very much need -  feeling of self-worth. And  they would look for approval and compliments from others because that's their way of feeling good about themselves. Because they help someone, because they're being valuable to someone but it can also be quite irritating if we are on the other side-  if we are the other person 

So let's focus on building the feeling of self-worth internally so we don't have to rely on others to make us feel good about who we are. 

When there are no people to help and nobody needs us anymore, if we have low self-esteem we suddenly feel terrible about ourselves. Nobody appreciates us, nobody values us, nobody needs our help…and because we don't value ourselves we are feeling completely empty inside.

Relying on others to feel good and feel is not the way to do it.  Looking for approval externally can be very dangerous and it's never a long-term solution. And this type of internal sabotage is quite hard to notice. So sometimes we are setting ourselves up to fail just to prove to ourselves that we are not great at something.  People with low self-esteem often do. Often create opportunities to prove to themselves and others ‘’see, I told you I would never succeed at that’’ and they give up really easily and really quickly.

Taking responsibility also means taking action, so doing something to improve the situation, taking action. The more action we take the higher the likelihood is that we will succeed in something - which is often very connected to people with positive self image. These people are very proactive.  People who are confident, think positive things of themselves, trust themselves and take action. They are really proactive, they realise that if there is a need to change something in their life they just take action. They do something about it.

They don't sit around and wait for things to happen on their own they also take responsibility for their life in the sense that they learn from past mistakes so they don't give up that easily they don't stop after one attempt they look at what they've learned and they try something different and that proactiveness is a characteristics that we women need to work on building in internally.  Looking for a solution and trying different approaches until something works. The work on our self-worth is a daily regular work; it's not something you build once and then you forget about it.

People who see themselves in a positive light very often know exactly which way they are going and what their desired outcome is. They don't necessarily know how their life will be 5 years ahead , but know what steps to take next. The effects of these next steps don't need to be perfect, just good enough to teach them what works and what doesn't..

It's taking responsibility for your life taking steps forward without giving up and hearing 

It's also important to remember that whatever we do we should always focus on why we do it what is the end result of it what is the effect and what desired outcome are we looking for so when trying to solve a problem approaching a situation differently perhaps there was a conflict with a friend conflict with a partner we've tried one approach it didn't work instead of going. 

Over and over I'm going nowhere let's do something different let's focus on what we want what end result if we want to be happy if we want to be peaceful let's bet that in mind when we are reacting and responding to different things what will make me more peaceful what will make me more happy will continuing doing the same thing bring me closer to my desired outcome or not people who see themselves in a positive light very often know exactly which way they are going and what the desired outcome should be. Sally know how the life will be five years ahead but they know what steps to take next and this is important because quite often we are looking for excuses we have this dream we want to achieve something whatever that is learning a new language getting a better job losing weight perhaps and quite often we focus so much on the negative aspects of achieving that outcome we are looking for excuses and problems and in our head was set ourselves up to fail and that is not the way to do it the way to do it is just taking the next step is just going for this exercise. 

It's just dedicating 30 minutes a week to learn something new: new skills for example and then dedicating the next 30 minutes the next week. This step based approach will remove anxiety from our mind and will help us in achieving our desired outcome. The effects of these next steps don't need to be perfect. They often are not perfect, but they are good enough to get us to the next small level. 

That is taking responsibility for your life and taking responsibility for your actions, which is very closely connected to our feeling of self-worth and our positive self image.